Porky pies, little white lies, fibs, call them what you will they are all distortions of the truth that we frequently use every day – to make us look better, to protect us in some way, to avoid being judged for our inadequacies, or to gain something for ourselves. Behind lies is egotism in one form or another and it all comes back to me, me, me – the ‘I’ at the center of the Universe.
“If you are irritated by every rub how will you be polished?”
Sometimes out of left-field we get hit by circumstances that take the wind out of us and leave us in a place I call ‘No Man’s Land’. We feel slam-dunked and stuck in a pit of fear, disorientation, disbelief, confusion, brain-fog, betrayal, sadness, and anger. As the days go on inertia, apathy and physical exhaustion set in. We start to doubt ourselves and loose our sense of self-worth. Our mind’s analyse and over-analyse the situation to try to make sense of it. The incessant question of why? why? why? churns over and over in our heads like a broken record, as we try to figure out how we got to this place and how to get out of it. We feel over-whelmed by the emotions, paralysed and helpless to do anything, like a mongoose caught in the grip of a snake. Continue reading
Depression is a state of extreme unhappiness, described by sufferers as a black, dismal, dungeon of despair, or a stifling hot room with no means of escape, a heavy overcoat of pain with the buttons soldered together. It is characterised by a sense of loss of control overone’s life, a loss of enthusiasm, and the inability to enjoy pleasure. One may know what to do but cannot summon the energy to do it. Continue reading
“Dealing with suffering is like handling a poisonous snake. We have to learn about the snake, and we have to grow stronger and more stable in order to handle it without hurting ourselves. At the end of this process, we will be ready to confront the snake. If we never confront it, one day it will surprise us and we will suffer extremely from the snake bite. The pain we carry in the deep levels of our consciousness is similar. When it grows big and confronts us, there’s nothing we can do if we haven’t practised becoming strong and stable. We should only invite our suffering up when we are ready. Then, when it comes we can handle it. To transform our suffering, we don’t struggle with it or try to get rid of it. We simply bathe in it, in light of our awareness, transforming and healing it as we do. “ Thich Nhat Hanh
The older we get, the more we lose; this is the law of impermanence. We lose loved ones, cherished dreams, physical strength, work, and relationships, the degradation of the environment. Often, it seems like loss upon loss. All these losses bring up enormous grief that we must be prepared to embrace completely, if we are to live with open hearts. As the losses mount, the need for conscious grieving becomes more pronounced. Continue reading
Too often we allow fear to dominate and define our lives. We allow it to steal our joy, our sleep and our precious dreams. We cling to fear from our childhood, traumatic experiences, and the negative media, like a security blanket. We allow our fear to hold us back and to play it safe, in order to avoid facing rejection, possible failure, embarrassment or being hurt.
It’s our responsibility to acknowledge, face, and dissolve our fear. If you want to know happiness and to realize your dreams, you have to be able to take a leap of faith despite being afraid.
Here are some tips to help you to face your fears and overcome them: Continue reading
Pain, per se, is not bad. We have been hardwired to react to pain and for good reason, it is our body’s protective warning system. The symptoms of pain can be viewed as messengers. Don’t try to deny or get rid of a symptom because you don’t like what it is telling you, because usually it is giving you important information about your health. We feel pain therefore we need to respond so we can then get treatment. It is our body’s way of telling us that something needs attention. Continue reading
An issue that comes up time and time again in my counselling practise is ‘the inability to trust others and the inability to trust in one-self’. Having experienced the issue in varying degrees in my life, I have come to a place of understanding with a few nuggets of wisdom that I would like to share.
As the population of the world increases every day and there are many more people than there ever has been, there is a growing epidemic of ‘loneliness’ infiltrating mankind. I was moved to write this blog as each day I am encountering an increasing amount of people in my practise and in everyday life that are experiencing loneliness and the extreme emotions that accompany it.
I recently heard that a friend who was a world-renowned DJ took his own life. This man was so incredibly gifted with his music that he made an impact on many people, including myself, in a profound and positive way.